Grace > Hurt

 

Pastor David’s sermons about GRACE have been speaking what's in my heart and stirring-up things I really want to share.  People who know me probably won’t believe that over the last few months I have really been trying to “bite my tongue” and limit what I say.   So – for the past few weeks I haven’t even looked on FB to avoid a possible slip.  But maybe on the topic of forgiveness and grace – with over 10 years of personal and spiritual dysfunction, then over 10 years of youth ministry having incredible Christians pour into my life, then 10 more years of providing marriage and family counseling and listening to clients, then 10 years of teaching and learning how to be heard – maybe there IS something I can contribute to the conversation. 

It’s been a lonely, past few months – I’m being confronted constantly with my own “differentness” in beliefs and values from those around me.  It struck me recently, society does not always welcome “different”.  Possibly with some valid reasoning.  Our ancestors were tribal in nature. Someone unfamiliar or different, could be dangerous to the cohesion and survival of the group.  It becomes a matter of who can you trust? Conformity of behaviors, beliefs and even appearances can promote trust.  In today's fear-striken environment, we are having a hard time determining who should be trusted?  When your ideas don’t match up with your friends, family or neighbors, it's understandable why maybe others question your purpose in the group.  Maybe you should be considered dangerous to the group’s cohesion. 

I’ve read tweets and posts of Christians who state they feel “politically homeless”.  I can relate.  When everyone seems to be taking a political position, as a Christian nothing feels right for me. I have huge forgiveness issues here – (so much I need to give to God but its not my intent to go off in a political discourse)-  only to recognize my need to apply grace to these issues.  A former pastor once told me about E.G.R.’s – people who need Extra Grace Required. This is the individual that everyone has a hard time accepting and would prefer to avoid.  He said, “Every group has at least one member who needs to be extended “extra grace”.  If you can’t figure out who that person is in your group, it’s probably you.” What if for all the issues playing out before us in social media – we offered to the parties involved – “extra grace”.  I’m not suggesting we should agree or disagree with any particular position, but that we extend empathy, compassion and grace for the people involved.  Our life experience brings us to what we believe, how we behave and who we are.  We don’t always know why someone’s heart is in the place it is – but we do know that we can and should offer grace.

I love how Pastor David tied grace and forgiveness together.  I once heard grace and mercy explained this way. Mercy is NOT getting what you DO deserve, and grace IS getting what you DON'T deserve.  Forgiveness involves both.  For me, as Pastor David was speaking a connection was formed between forgiveness and grief.  Afterall, hurt involves pain and sorrow.  Just like in grief, our ability to forgive may seem impossible- unsurmountable.  Even if we are able to forgive, we will still have moments where our hurt and pain resurface.  It’s like going to the beach, wandering out into the water and standing with our backs to the waves.  A wave will come upon us in surprise, overtake us and maybe even knock us down.  We somehow manage to get our balance in sync with ocean and eventually learn to rise and fall with the tides.  We get better at riding those tides but we never know when a wave may take us off balance. So it goes with forgiveness.     (Click link to Oceans by Hillsong)

Why should we forgive?  Why shouldn’t we protect ourselves against hurt?  The idea of forgiveness and offering grace to the underserving sounds awfully vulnerable and vulnerability is dangerous.  Forgiving others is for our own good.  Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful heart is like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones”.  Would you agree that holding on to hurt turns the heart bitter?  The red letters in Mark 11:25 show us what Jesus says, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Verse 26 will take it one step further. Paul states in Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  It is our ultimate hope, when we are finally gathered with Him - Revelation 21:4, “…God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” 

I’m finding myself realizing more and more every day.  God is calling me to be different.  The church is called to be different.  Roman 12:2, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.  This IS your spiritual act of worship”.  When you are different (as time has shown us) the world will reject you.  Ask Jesus.  Maybe it’s a sign that we’re on the right path.  Because, history has also shown us, it is being different that draws people to Him.  Offering grace to a hurting world - the grace that has been extended to us - there is an attraction like no other.      

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.  He save us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ, our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."  Titus 3:4-7.