I thought I'd do something different today rather than the traditional meal and binge-ing on football. We picked all the lemons off of our lemon tree because we're expecting a Texas Gulf Coast hard-freeze. Thinking it was a light crop this year, I was surprised to find we had two large baskets and a crate full of lemons. I hate to see so many lemons go to waste, when lemons have such great potential - lemonade, lemon pie, lemon-ginger marmalade, limoncello!
Generosity isn't something that comes easy for me. Giving lemons away is not a big deal - but the idea of making a New Year's resolution based on giving is something else. Probably because I suffer from "never enough" syndrome. Always fearing there just won't be enough - enough opportunity, enough affirmation, enough to get by and certainly not enough from me to meet my own expectations of myself. So choosing an "intention" for 2018 like generosity is a scary thing. According to recent studies, giving is connected not only happiness but to living a longer life! So maybe a good intention for 2018 would be "In search of generosity". This leaves me some wiggle room to not be committed to having to "give" everything or all the time but to focus on the mystery of giving, the wonder of why people give and just experimenting in how to be generous.
I bagged up the lemons and labeled them with a recipe for lemonade and a note, "If 2018 gives you lemons, make lemonade". We delivered to as many of our friends as we could. Just dropping in to say "Happy New Year - Have some lemons!" And then on our way again.
Many of the people we dropped in on had a story of how they or someone they knew were struggling already in the New Year with health or other issues. Just thinking about how a New Year promises new hope but doesn't guarantee the year will be problem-free made the lemonade metaphor a way to encourage perseverance.
We were headed home when I thought I saw someone we knew. This man was a former church friend who used to help with the youth program. The last time that I had seen him was about a year ago after he and his wife had lost their grandson to a motorcycle accident. I had intended to connect with them last year and take them eggs or lemons but I had lost their contact information and just lost touch. They cross my mind frequently so when I thought I saw him I really wasn't sure it was him. We pulled in the driveway and still not being sure I called out his name. We weren't convinced it was him but he answered "Yes?" I asked him if he'd like some lemons and he said yes and offered grapefruit in return. I climbed out of the car and asked how he was doing - He told me with tears in his eyes about how they hadn't been able to return to church because of the memories of their grandson and the hurt they continue to feel, how they were dealing with numerous health issues and how their house was recently damaged in a fire.
How is that some people have so much grief to endure? Each time he would break down he would manage to pop back with an attempt at a smile or positive word. My heart just broke for them. I told him I'd be back to pick more fruit and to check on his wife. He seemed relieved because he was worried the fruit would go to waste. I told him I was so glad we stopped and he said he was too. There's nothing that I could give that would change his circumstances or take away his pain. But maybe to just be present with him in the midst of all his struggles and to do something kind or offer a kind word or a hug was the most generous thing we could do. And we came home with even more than we left - more to give away!
